Tales of a Secret Rockstar

Here's one of my pet peeves in writing. There's a famous Mark Twain quote, in which he says (after hearing that it was widely rumored that he had died), "The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." Great quote. Very witty. Here's the thing though: That quote only works in the first person! I see people use this all the time in articles. For example: "The reports of Larry Johnson's demise have been greatly exaggerated." When you're saying it about yourself, it's clever because clearly you're not dead. But when you're saying it about Larry Johnson, it doesn't apply, because you clearly could exaggerate reports about his death. Perhaps he died in his sleep, but all the papers are saying that he fought a burglar and was thrown out of a third story window. That would be an exaggerated report of his demise. So it doesn't apply. If I was Steven Colbert right now, I'd put all reporters who use this phrase (and there are many of them) on watch. I think that's what it's called. He has that board. Anyways, that's my rant for the night. I just can't handle when witty quotes get misused and subsequently ruined.