Tales of a Secret Rockstar

It's about time I update this thing. I'm a horrible website person. If this thing wasn't done for me, it wouldn't exist. If this blog was a puppy, it would have left home and become a stray a long time ago. Then who knows what posts you would read on this high quality internet web page.

Anyways, on to real life.

I had a good talk with my parents about all the things mentioned in my previous two posts. And it was funny because I thought they would be all defensive, but they pretty much agreed with me. They apologized for alot of things. I got some closure on things too. Stuff I never heard when all these "prophets" were in town. So that was nice. I felt really released from alot of that stuff.

It's late at night and I'm not caring about my writing anymore.

So I still haven't found a better job. Looking for a job scares me more than anything in the world. I don't know why. I think hating change and being mildly shy is a bad combination. So I continue to live the Subway way. Which is a terrible way to live. It borders on inhumane.

Things are changing for me spiritually. I can't even really explain it. I think it started when I made this commitment. I've been scared to really follow God wholeheartedly because I've been scared that somehow I would lose my personality, or worse, my mind. In a being dumb way, not a going crazy way. But I decided it's better to follow God and risk losing everything then keeping everything and losing God. I think there's a bible verse about that. So I've been trying to forge ahead, not worrying so much about the past. And clearly God gave me this mind, so it's really an irrational fear that he would take it away. But it was a fear nonetheless.

There are no girls of note in my life, and none on the horizon. That usually doesn't bother me, but it's troubling me today.
Oh Kate Hudson, how I wish you were my age and Christian and single and not famous.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee