Tales of a Secret Rockstar

As promised, I wanted to go in a more female friendly direction with today's post, while still maintaining my male audience. Therefore, today we will have a no holds barred discussion on why puppies are cuter than babies.

You see, babies really think they've got this cuteness thing locked up. They walk around like they . . . Oh wait, babies can't walk! Strike one, babies. Puppies can not only walk, they can run really awkwardly. That's just adorable. You can throw your puppy a ball and he'll chase it. Maybe he'll even bring it back to you. Try throwing your baby a ball. That's what I thought. Okay, so maybe you're thinking, "Sure babies can't walk. But they'll learn to walk. And they're really cute when they learn to walk." Fair enough. But are they cute when they're breaking your lamps? Are they cute when they're trying to stick their hands on your stove burners, or throw up on your shoes? No. Exactly. Puppies can do all of those things and still be cute. Strike two, babies. How else are puppies cuter than babies, you ask? Well, have you ever heard a puppy cry? That ear piercing, eye popping scream-cry? Oh yeah, that's the cry of a baby! Puppies can whimper, sure. But they sure can't outcry a baby. Puppies don't wake you up in the middle of the night with a shriek. They don't scream when you won't let them bury your shoe in the sandbox. A puppy would just bury your shoe anyways, no questions asked. And really, in the end, isn't that the better way?

Strike three, babies.