Tales of a Secret Rockstar

I'm so bored of little gods, while I'm standing on the edge of something large, while I'm standing here so close to You . . .

Friday, August 04, 2006

 
After quite a long summer break, I do believe this blog will once again become active. I've finally had time to slow down and think a little bit. Hopefully that will reflect here. Not necessarily in this post though. But in the future. You know, in futurer posts.

I'm really starting to question the value/purpose of this particular blog. Which is funny because I started it for no other reason than to have a place to record my thoughts and work on my writing. Perhaps my ambitions have become too grand. Somehow I want to accomplish something through this blog. I think it's time to get back to my blogging roots. As certain folks would say, my "blego" may have become too large. If you don't know what a blego is, ask Jeremy Postal (http://jeremypostal.blogspot.com)
I do appreciate that people read this blog, and I hope they will continue. But I'm starting to understand the underlying vanity that is inherent in owning a blog. This is not to say that I'm going to stop. Because I still feel that this space is doing myself, and perhaps even others, some good. But I'm going to try and remember why I started this blog. Not so much to gain attention, but to write. To write whether or not there is an audience. To get my thoughts in to some kind of recognizable form and pattern. I'll never be one of those people who demand a response (I learned from my last post). I hope that takes some pressure off the reader. Although, of course, responses are always welcome.
The internet is a hotbed of pseudo-intellectual ramblings. The one ambition I do have for this blog is that I can somehow rise above that. I doubt it, but we'll see.

Comments:
I enjoy reading your blog, I generally think it is thoughtful and thought invoking (except maybe the girl posts, but whatever, esceptions not rules). As far as vanity is concerned, I agree, blogging is a vain experience because you expect people to read what you write and you tell people about your blog so that they will read it. Even if you just write for the sake of writing, you are still writing on a blog, on the internet, and as such kind of imply that you want people to read it. It's not a knock against you, because it a useful tool to get a varying degree of feed back from multiple sources that you would not normally have if you just kept a writing journal. That helps you hone your craft (assuming that you still have such a goal), and there is nothing wrong with that. So I encourage you to continue writing in this blog of yours, and to just let it be what it will be. I think a little ego is good, because I see it as kind of a driing motivator for much of what we do, and at the risk of being blasphemous, I think God has an ego. I'll justify that point in person, even though it isn't really true.
 
Dan-I miss you too!!
 
Dan
I love you.
I love you so much.
Although, I'm not a girl, and so don't take it the wrong way.

What I'm learning through blogging is that it may not be as selfish as most claim for it to be. For many young adults, it is a way of finding some self-identity (some fall into finding their identity in the blog-world, but others this encourages their search). Is it wrong to find out who you are? Is it really wrong to keep track of where you've been? Is it wrong to ask questions? Is it wrong to be searching for something more?
I don't think so to any of those.
I say ramble on about the girls, ramble on about God, ramble on about your varying abstract thoughts.
It's a part of growing. So, grow.
 
Hey Dan!!! How's Life!!! I miss hanging out with yoU. Thailand is amazing though. I have a video on my xanga blog. You should check it out. I 'm gonna pretend we are having a conversation with you 'cause talking with you is fun... I say: Hey Dan!!! You say: Hey Melv!!! HAHA.. anyways hope to talk to you soon!
 
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