Tales of a Secret Rockstar

Things are looking up for me.
I can't even put my finger on it, but I have this vague sense that I'm turning some kind of corner. It's something that I can't really see clearly, but it's there. Maybe it's still in the blurry distance. Or maybe it's bigger than I think it is. Either way, I find myself infused with this indomitable sense of hope. With this has come this realization that I'm generally a really happy person. Whenever people told me I was full of energy, I never quite believed them. But now I'm starting to realize how much energy I have. I pretty much want to dance around most of the time. It's crazy.
Crazy good, that is.

On a completely different note:
I've noticed two interesting trends in how I relate to girls.

1. I see many attractive girls on the average day, but somehow, they just don't stand out to me. They all seem plain somehow. To quote a First Past the Post song, "You look to me, like just another one of the girls." That's sort of what it's like for me. Every new girl that I see or meet, I think "another one of the girls." This is a hard concept to communicate. I still am attracted to girls of course. I think I've just started looking a little harder and a little deeper. Hopefully this is a good thing. All the people that I talk to say it is. I just don't care about "hot girls".

2. So, I have met girls that I think are attractive during this period. And the thing is, with girls that I do find attractive, I'm really awkward. This is a new thing for me. I've always kind of taken pride in my ability to talk to girls. But lately, when I talk to a girl I find attractive, all my coherence just goes out the window. It's so weird. I'm not one to do the whole "shy, stare at my shoes and mumble" as some kind of approach because I think girls like it. I just find myself doing that because I'm completely tongue tied. I seriously have nothing to say. It's intimidating. I'm not so sure if this is a good thing or not. But such is the trend in my life.