Tales of a Secret Rockstar
I'm so bored of little gods, while I'm standing on the edge of something large, while I'm standing here so close to You . . .Monday, February 16, 2004
I went to church today.
This was the first time in about three weeks.
I didn't go to my home church though; I went to a different one with some people. I think I might have decided to go there because I thought there would be girls. Maybe, or maybe I just wanted a change.
The guy preached about Revelation. It was strange. He made some good points, like how we always want Revelation to tell what's going to happen in the future, because then we can be in control. But he never really got into anything specific. He just ended up talking about how God can bless us when we read Revelation, and how the church was staggering on the edge of extinction before it was written, but then they read it and decided to become martyrs. I don't know if that is entirely true.
Anyways
The thing that really got me was the end of the service. He quoted the end of Revelation, "Come Lord Jesus!" He used this as an altar call essentially, calling us to stand, close our eyes, and ask Jesus to come. But personally, not in the cosmic rapture sense. Sometimes I get feelings about things. This was one of those times. But the thing is, God moved, and people were being touched and stuff. But I still had this feeling. Having these feelings is difficult for me. I think it's a gift, and the thing is, I'm rarely wrong. But I always wonder. What if I'm just judging? What if I'm just too proud to let God move in my life? I don't know. I think ultimately I should listen to my heart. It's just hard because I grew up being taught to follow along with whatever was happening. Let the pastors worry about whether it's right or not. I don't think that's really biblical, but it seems to be the popular mentality. I'm rambling. I just find myself fighting a gift that I don't know how to use. What was I supposed to do? I don't know. I don't know if I was even right. But I think the guy was strange. I think he enjoyed hearing himself talk. But I think God still used him. Weird. Why does God do that?
God is strange sometimes.
I think He likes it that way.
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