Tales of a Secret Rockstar

Ever have one of those days when getting out of bed seems like way more work than it's worth?
I hate that.

So here's my newest plan.
I want to be on the next season of Average Joe (I'm not obsessed with this show or anything . . . I swear!).
I think I'd be one of the average guys, but it would be close.
I'd be like the guy who played it cool, and didn't kiss the girl on our first date. Or second, or third.
On one of our dates, she would obviously have to find out that I'm a virgin.
I think I'd like that conversation to go a little something like this:

girl: You're a virign?? Oh my GOD! How do you cope?
Me: Umm . . . It's not that hard really. It's not like I'm a virgin by accident. I'm way too charming for that.
girl: (giggles)
Me: See, when I first talked to the producers about being on this show, and they found out I was a virgin, they wanted to scrap this show right there on the spot.
girl: Really?
Me: Oh yeah. They wanted to start this new reality show based on me. It was going to be called "The Virgin." The whole premise is basically me, living with these 20 beautiful women who are trying to get me to sleep with them.
girl: (giggles) Whatever!
Me: Oh no, it's true! But I decided that I didn't want to steal the spotlight. After all, I could get famous anytime. I wanted to give you a chance.

Thus I would accomplish two things:
1. Alienating the beatiful (and most likely shallow) female contestant of the show.
2. Becoming the funniest person in the history of reality telivision. I would redefine the genre.

Now to live my dream . . .