Tales of a Secret Rockstar

I think blogging is perhaps one of the best and worst things to ever happen to the world.

Reasons why it's the best:
1. People anywhere, anytime can express their thoughts/feelings.
2. An easily managed medium for amateur writers and essayists, such as myself.
3. It requires no storage space. And I can't lose what I write.
4. Potential for a wide audience.
5. I can do it anywhere.

Reasons why it's the worst:
1. People anywhere, anytime can express their thoughts/feelings.
2. Never, in the history of english literature, have so many pieces of writing started with "I feel" (Yes, even I am guilty of this cheesy sin).
3. Wannabe internet programmers who make my computer explode.
4. Teenage girls.
5. The overwhelming potential for self-delusion.

I've been thinking about blogging alot. Mosty, I've been all insecure and worried that my writing doesn't stand out. Sometimes I think I'm a genius, and sometimes I think I'm just one of the crowd. I'm probably both.

6. I can go on the internet and talk about ME for hours.

What a wonderfully self-indulgent hobby. I think I'll write books about something else. They'll probably carry more weight.

I met Donald Miller today.
I shook his hand and talked to him for a while.
He's a super nice guy, and he seemed genuinely happy that I read his book 5 times. I asked him how he started writing. He told me he had been doing it since highschool, without any formal training. I told him that I do that too. I told him that I have a blog and that I want to write books. I told him how encouraging his books have been to me, and how much I like his style. Then one of his friends who was there suggested I submit an article to this website he's running.
I think I'll do that.
I'm rather excited about the whole ordeal.

PS. Welcome to my new random internet friend Becky. I don't think anyone has read every single one of these posts in one sitting. That's impressive. You win my reader of the month award. Good luck in your own blogging. I'll definitely check out your site. And give you an imaginary link.

I'm young
I'm alone
I'm in Edmonton

Of course my reason for being here involves representing a Christian College at a Christian Conference, so no antics a la "Home Alone." Although those antics would require some kind of burglary attempt in my 4th floor hotel room. But I digress.

I'm in a hotel about 7 blocks away from the conference center. The Shaw conference center is this huge multilevel building with all these crazy rooms everywhere. I've never seen anything like it.

This conference is going to be huge. I was talking to the guy in charge of escorting all the major Christian celebrities to their various engagements. He's got a cool job. But a busy one. There's just going to be so many people, and lots of great sessions. The conference started out as a worship conference, and that's still its main focus. I'm interested to see the demographics tomorrow. I know I'm going to enjoy the weekend. It remains to be seen how effective it will be from a PR standpoint (Which is a view I find myself taking these days).

I can't wait until I'm the guy being escorted to various engagements at Christian conferences. Having to be rushed by conference guy because I spent to much time discussing interesting issues with interviewers and such. It'll be great.

Just for the record, if I knew how to make links in my sidebar, I would totally do it.
But alas, this blog seems resigned to isolate itself like a sulky child.
I like trying to give my blog a sulky tone.
People like that.
I hear that girls really like guys who are quiet and sulky.


I do believe I've talked about crises of faith before on this internet journal replacement. I think I'm hitting a serious one. Again, not in the sense that I'm going to stop believing in God. More in the sense that maybe the things that I think are important really aren't important at all. That kind of realization can really throw you off.

There's nothing like a vague sense of angst and 30cm of rain outside to make a great Monday.

The long awaited day has finally arrived!
The return of Stop Five Records.
What a glorious day.

http://stopfiverecords.blogspot.com

It's good to see you again, old friend.

Inside joke #12a.

Here's the thing about two part posts. I generally don't get around to doing the second part. Or if I do, I usually forget what I was talking about and give a realy half-hearted attempt at the second post. Hopefully that won't happen this time, although I can't make any promises. It's been a while and there's lots of other excitement to write about, ie: the wedding of Dan and Slynn. However, I shall stay the course, for the sake of my loyal readers. And perhaps for the sake of my sanity, since I don't like dissonance on my blog.

I believe I was talking about conversion. Okay so actually I was talking about selfishness, but that was leading to a discussion about the idea of conversion. I've been thinking alot about conversion because I'm starting to feel that I'm missing the point. I started reading this book called "Famous Conversions." It was actually a textbook for one of my classes in college. But I never read class books unless i had to. But now I'm reading it, and it's very interesting. It basically tells the conversion stories of famous Christians, from Paul the apostle to Blaise Pascal all the way to Chuck Colson. Most of the stories are written by the people themselves. It's such an incredible perspective to me. I come from a Pentecostal background, and our main focus is "salvation". I think we probably purposefully avoid the word "conversion" in our churches. Granted all churches have some sort of class for new believers, something to initiate them into the Christian life. But to me, conversion is so much more than that. For one thing, conversion is difficult to pin down. For some it is immediate, for others it involves a lifelong process. It seems to me that conversion is more than a new pattern of behaviour and a new vocabulary. It involves a complete transformation of the mind and heart. It's like a planet completely changing it's orbit. The star that I once orbited, the star of self, cannot hold me any longer. I'm pulled by the gravity of God's grace, until his light is all that I see, and all that I need to see. This is the beauty of conversion. And yet, herein lies the problem. I am no more able to convert myself than a planet is able to abrubtly change its orbit. It is entirely a work of the spirit. I can seek God, but He does the work.
This is where i'm encouraged by the stories of conversion that I have read. Particularily John Wesley's. I feel much affinity to him. He grew up in the church, and even went into ministry, without really understanding God's grace. He strove for holiness, and was know for his intense discipline. But somehow he was missing the point. I feel that way. I am very much sincere in my pursuit of God, but I think I'm just totally off the mark. Like I'm striving for outer transformation, rather than conversion. It's a movement of grace. And that's probably the one thing I have the most difficulty with. That's why I love Wesley's story. How he heard Luther's introduction to the book of Romans. And his heart was "strangely warmed." It seems like from that point on, he got it. He didn't need to strive anymore, he only needed to serve.

I suppose all of that was mostly written to say that I'm frustrated about where I'm at. But it's bigger than your average Christian frustration. I mean that I literally don't get it. I'm missing the point. I know that I'm a Christian, I'm not worried that I've wasted the last 18 years or anything. I just think that somewhere along the way I totally lost the meaning of my faith. Like I'm living on the surface. It's exceedingly difficult to explain. I'm just working way too hard for way too little. I need more than just salvation. I need conversion.